Its Been A While, But….
Brutal Legend, produced by Tim shafer’s double fine featuring Jack Black, Ozzy & Lemmy “kill master”

Yes dears the guitar is a major part of this game

This game’s genre is extremely hard to classify as it randomly swaps between a Hack .n. slash and then steaths into a heavy metal RTS which gets you confused after listening to Ozzy for about half an hour (yes head bangers included) which kicks the arse of Halo Wars , im mean really I think they way this game has produced the RTS parts of the games are ingenious, they are amazing and I love them. I love them ….. and I Freaking Love them.

Ok, to be fair this unit has rob Halford (of Judas Priest) on the back of the bike but this is still cool right?!...Right?!?!

You are Eddie Riggs who are the best roadie in the world, but you are a roadie to the shittist “metal” (they are like the Jonas brothers mixed with panic with some nu-metal influences…so they blow) theres a big accident on their stage, big fiery demon comes up kicks their arse and you get taken to the land of Metal…youve heard it all before right?…. thats right NO… thats why its freaking good….its a game devoted to heavy METAL!!!… Eddie Riggs has 2 weapons on him, a freaking axe (picture at the top) and another Axe of the stringed verity (top again) the guitar can fire electricity and fire and play solos to do  things (such as rally points, summon cars & it is the most important thing you have)…. the world is influenced by album covers & theres a Freaking mt. Rushmore kind of thing which i made it so i can have Ozzy, and Lemmy because them 2 together = BRUTAL!!!…. I don’t want to go into the story too much but I can say, the script and story is fantastic, and it has the strongest storyline I have seen in a while…

"Ok.....big evil demon thing... give me back my axe...no my other axe"

The sound track is fantastic for a METAL fan, tracks from bands such as; Mastodon, slayer, megadeth, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Testament, Static-X, Manson and the list can quite frankly go on for ever the full set list is on wiki or something. The multiplayer is actually fantastic from the off its balanced and works perfectly, theres been a few times when I’ve got raped due to retardation or general shitness, it takes a lot of skill to play with a certain faction and it shows that a decent RTS can be made on a console platform. and its AWSOME!!!

Black, Red & Chrome how original

The Good:

The Story is awesome
The Soundtrack, has a good diversity of Metal Tracks from lots of genres such as glam, Thrash, Black & Industrial
The guitar shoots fire and lightning….I wish I made that up…Really
Ozzy is the guardian of metal..nuff said
The RTS aspect of the game Actually works unlike every other one to date (for consoles that is)
The world looks beautiful (for a place inspired from demons and evilness)
and its FUN!!… remember that… yes we are getting a few fun games recently and its good times

The Bad

The Controls are clunky and sticky but you don’t really notice it
They try to make Eddie look to badass on the front cover (its almost as bad as the Batman cover)
It gets boring after a play through

The Ugly

Lemmy’s Mole/wart thing..

Ok, Long Story Short Typed In Mole With Out Thinking & This Ugly motherfucker Shows Up

If you own a console, you own COD4: Modern Warfare (except the Wii…well, fuck you Wii) And with the upcoming release Infinity Ward are being nasty little buggers by releasing Multi-player clips and this is more awesome than a Christmas present which runs around and shoots freaking lasers out of its eyes. But for reasons I cannot understand I can’t embed the videos: so the link to these new clips are

>>>>>>>>CLICK HERE<<<<<<<

in them brackets if you’re a retarded monkey (ok with the videos site vanishing quicker than Jason Bourne into a lake its just the website in general now)….Who’s a cute retarded monkey? You are….
But with this game now bigger than Halo 3, which in turn is more popular than God, there’s no wonder it can go for £55 (UK) and God knows how much in American Dollar.

Awwwww; Doesn't he just make you just wanna smoosh him?

It’s not all good news mind you. The day CoD: MW2 is released, 100% of XBOX Live users heads will be imploded by the instantaneous shout of the word N00B at a higher frequency than, well, God…

additional: The website put on the HERE link is the website with lots of info on the upcoming bigger than god release but go ahead watch this kid on COD5 ….arrogant cock

http://www.phillyd.tv/2009/05/18/arrogant-cod5-kill/

Also new news (all of the weapons!!!)

http://modernwarfare247.com/news/modern-warfare-2-multiplayer-weapons-update

Capcom have really done it again, Resident Evil 5’s a amazing game (if you play it on live) and looks amazing, and they have a long history of good games: Dead Rising, Devil May Cry and Mega-man to name a few and now they are back with Lost Planet 2. The Co-op Demo has recently been released and I decided to drop into the action so to speak as I have been looking forward to this one since its announcement (on x-box live under the veil of more RE5 news)

Lost, No More

The on-line demo drops you off in the middle of a fire fight with 3 other blurry eyed newbies which pit you up against a 50ft, flame daemon thing that lived on the planet before you arrived or you stole his prized marrow, or maybe you squashed his dinner, you get no explanation and its best if you don’t get one as you wouldn’t give a shit in hell…as the 1st thing the game made me do was jizz in my (what seems) very young and excitable pants with the amazing terrain and the overall looks of the games, then it made me shit myself in the before mentioned jizz pants when the before mentioned spawn of the devil comes and kicks mine and the other 3 guys faces into the ground and then its over as quickly as it started.

It's hard to believe this guy just wants a hug

Quickly after this I started another game and swiftly started to play the game like I should of, its a 3rd person shooter which you can go around in mechanical walkers and “stuff” and use rocket launchers and the normal assortment of exploding things to down the creature I refer to as fluffy. Its Extremely well executed and is shaping up to be a formidable game in the Christmas charts even tho there is a number one already and it isn’t hello kitty island adventure

"Yes Sir, Its Affirmative It Doesn't Like The Name Fluffy"

The Lost Planet 2: Co-op Demo is on each consoles respective market places for free download and is slated for a fall 09 release in the US (and I’m guessing UK) and 2010 in JP

Lord Of The Rings Conquest…….yeah Its OK.

OK, Its Dan here and I can’t really leave it there, This Review will be on Lord Of The Rings Conquest as you could probably tell and its the latest in line of film spin offs but with a difference.

With Lord Of The Rings being one of the best books and film series ever, it was inevitable to have a lot of games spawned from it from the crotch kicking awfulness of the Fellowship of the ring, to the genital massaging awesomeness of the battle of middle earth series, it has had games of all different quality’s.

This is from the creators from the Star Wars Battlefront series and it follows its predecessor’s style and feel to the dot, which was good in 2000 or when ever they star wars version came out, but now it is just the same old style with an even better skin on it. As always with these games you have objectives to complete within a certain amount of lives, which gets very annoying as you always die just before you finish it. But it would be OK if they altered the game play slightly, but they bloody ripped it off and battered it to death with its own arm to try and make it seem like it was a original game, which it is not.

There are 2 campaigns like always with you playing the 1st one as it happened in the books on the good side with hero charecters Aragorn, Legolas, gimli and all of the good charcters and then theres anouther one where your the evil and its set in the what if universe and this is the big I especially enjoyed as it gives a new view on what could of happened and the charecters are that of the evil witch king the evil people and more evil people.. which have lots of names I couldnt spell even if they were in front of me let alone recall them.

All this guy is fit for is death....Let alone leading a army... I supposed they are Orcs

Then theres the online mode which has a lot to be desired for, for a start its hard to find a game becuase no one plays it and when you do find a game its got 2 modes which are basicly Capture the flag and Death Match, these both get boring after the 5th time of playing them let alone the 100 you need for a rediculus achievement.. they are also laggyier than porn on a dial up connection.

But all in all the game is ok, you get to be the balrog for christ’s sake and a game where you can be that fiery juggernaut is at least competent in my eyes, but apart from that its bland, annoying and the graphics feel like a throw back to the early 2000’s with games such as MGS4 and GTA VI having graphics that are amazing even though they are grey…very grey… so grey oh and dirt colours.

The Good

Its JRR Tolkins Lord Of The Rings
You Can Be The Mother Fucking Balrog
Battle Grounds Was Fun, So Naturally So Is This….For A Bit
It Just Doesnt Cover The Colours In The Dirt Spectrum
The Heroes and Archers Are Fun For A Bit
You Get To Be Mother Fucking Frodo

The Bad

Its No Metal Gear
It Gets Boring After About A Hour… So Its Better Than Any Gimmik Stick Waggling Game The Wii Has To Offer
The Online Sucks Harder Than A Hooker Welcoming The Boys Back From The War In The Old Days
It Is Battle Grounds

The Ugly

The Graphics are butt ugly I’ve seen better graphics on a Ps2 (Metal Gear Solid 3 & Final Fantasy X To name a few…What is it with me and going on about metal gear in this review) theres the graphics and gothmog..someones put him out of his misery so we dont have to look at him PLEASE!

I'm In A Boat... yeah.... I'm in a boat.....ect ect

The Next Few Reviews are going to be of the E3 announcements that recently happened and of Guitar Hero: Metallica as I am still writing them up as theres alot of content in them (apart from the ninendo as they sucked this year)

Welcome to anouther review from backseat reviewers, Im dan and im your host for today.

Advert for free-running*face paint not included*

Mirrors Edge, bright, blissful and beautiful… well that’s what they want you to see as Faith (the main character) and regularly points out like Hitler on his views of the Jews.
Mirrors edge is a 1st person free running game which has a hint of beat em up and FPS but these aspects of the game are gittery and have issues like a unloved teenager and for once that’s not a problem .. Not the unloved teenager, the game issues because they try to and succeed in covering it up by the innovative 1st Person Free running aspect,
it breaths a whole new life into video games as a lot of the times in games it comes down to skill and in this there’s that and the sheer dumb luck because on more than a thousand occasions I have been sitting there not wanting to look at the screen as I’m scared I’ll miss the really small ledge and hear the oncoming SPALT of the now faithless faith changing from a human being into a small puddle of red gooey stuff that will leave the janitor wonder what the hell it was before the impact (his nearest guess is a elephant as I imagine the blood splatter is pretty big)

Free-running you will have to find your own way... route will NOT be higlighted in red

Also in a side note the game is weird in another way as well as the before mentioned elephant splat and that is that the control scheme is very left hand dominant were most games are right hand (like cod you aim with left shoot with right, GTA accelerate the rhino handled car with the right brake with the left get the idea?) and here the jumping and crouching is all with the left and the jump is the time bumper which is one of the worse things to have to hit when you’re running away every law enforcer in the local vicinity chasing you down like you stole a loaf of bread in ye old England.

The story is pretty good considering that the majority of bug eyed nerds won’t take it on the story as they will strip it down to the perverted nudity and try to rip the mechanics apart and it will be missed on them. The scenery you’re running around is quite frankly beautiful and amazing and best of all believable thanks to the story, as if it wasn’t it would be like yeah its beautiful but it would never happen and thank god they got it right as it pulls you into the game like a lion pulling a lonely hunter into his den.

On another note the music by Lisa Miskovsky is …..Well…Amazing… I remember getting worked up because I couldn’t make a jump stick on the track and it washes calm over you like a wave it’s amazing and it makes the ending just amazing…. It is a game that people will either love or hate as its new it has bugs and glitches every now and then and its “different” from other games but I loved it, I can see why people would hunt it down like it was a witch in ye old Britain but for me it was not the case…outside of the game you can re run the game to a time trail and you have another mode where its basically the same but with different courses and no police so it’s just a nice little thing if you want to just go for a free run without the fear of getting shot in the ARSE!!

The Good

Its Beautiful,
Innovative,
The music is amazing.. And not cheesy,
The free running,
That split second where you’re on the highest point of the whole game and look over the city and just stare in amazement you just need to cue awesome music and it could possibly be one of the best moments of gaming … EVER

The Bad

The falling to your death,
The police are evil in the time trial,
There’s police everywhere,
Running inside is bad

The ugly

That nasty elephant shaped innards  splatter that killed that old lady on that one miss judged jump

Well killing the elephants out the way.... How do you eat one!!!

Welcome to another review from Backseat Reviewers from Dan…. The super villain of the brand as I will break bens ankles soon if he doesn’t do a kill zone 2 review soon… damn you Ben… but this week’s rookie came over from France… well err.. Yeah … he didn’t last long… after 20 words and 3 of them where… Halo, shit & worst…Ben lifted him up with his hulk powers and dropped him head 1st into a vat of bree and I let the room as it was too gruesome to recall…but onto the review… And funnily enough the next rookie

Look ma, no hands!

Tom Clancy’s HAWX, the most recent addition to the always growing tom Clancy family… its growing so much so that he will need to start killing them off to fit them all in the house, In the time of the year known as fuck all is coming out except games which are either shit (not naming anyone…avatar) or childish (Barry’s first sandbox) its getting harder to find games to review But HAWX is the 1st flight simulator out of the sea of self righteous FPS gun wank that is the majority of the Tom Clancy name which means it will be living as the black sheep of the family and will swiftly have a bed next to the family dog…in the back garden, HAWX is set in the near future where you start off in the US army until they decide you boot you quicker than a child hides that sweater his grandmother made for him. From this you join a corporation and work for them who are working for the US for… A BIT… until they turn their back on the US and work for the non-descript enemies (presumably not to piss anyone off… but it’s a bit late now… it’s like shooting the murderer after he’s killed a prostitute….or something like that because now…even France hates them and that’s saying something) and you like the patriotic arse grime you are go crawling back to the US who reinstate you.. BLAH BLAH BLAH…. The story is so patriotic it makes my eyes hurt just for watching (it could be that or the huge screen I watch it on…. Either or … doesn’t matter) but basically HAWXS is exactly like top-gun … without the boring non-flying bits……and Tom cruise….oh and the strangely homo-erotic volley ball scene …

Butt-Plug and Gimp suit just out of shot

but it has more planes for the plane nerds (but to everyone you’ll just see the same old arse end of a plane and explosions around you)…. And some other cool stuff…..WAIT…ITS MISSING THE CHEESY MUSIC AS WELL…I’m done… The flight simulation part which should be all we look at is really good… not that I have had experience in them though, but it’s fun and you get to blow stuff up with missiles at 3000miles a hour which isn’t normally a good thing as you sometimes miss the explosions to fly nose 1st into the nearest building … which is sometimes a skyscraper, the white house and if you’re lucky like me it won’t be a building it will be Air force one which has never looked better… well until I flew into it nose 1st that is…there’s also a nice addition to it called “assistance mode off” which would be better describes as … I’m floating in the sky watching my plane from a fucked up angle and do crazy stunts and sometimes spin round the plane to the nose just to piss the player off and help them fly into non-descript buildings…what is it with this game and flying into fucking buildings … the bane of all pilots….apart from this there’s not much more to say…the terrain looks awesome until you fly low…then it looks like a fat man sat on it after a all you can eat buffet and decided not to get up for half an hour (for those who doesn’t get that .. it means its flat…pixilated and looks shit) there’s lots of different areas to fly that look awesome … except the before mentioned fatty issue and it’s a pretty good single player game which induces fun onto you like a gentle massage to the temples will make you relax… there’s a multiplayer element though and that’s where the problems start to occur quicker than a .. Well a fatty to a all you can eat buffet.. There’s 2 modes .. Multiplayer campaign which is the same as single player.. So no problems .. all the funs of flying through fantastic scenery to crash into building but with your buddies and there is also a versus dog fight mode… this is shallower than a puddle with Katie Price standing in it and the lobbies are quieter than a one horse town after a nuke has dropped….

The Good

The scenery is spectacular
The Story is solid
The planes are sweet Its Fun…remember that well I didn’t until this

The Bad
The multiplayer sucks harder than a hooker trying to get money for food
THERES NO CHEESY MUSIC
The scenery is shit below 500ft
FOR CHRIST SAKES THERES NO SIGN OF THE CHEESY MUSIC

The Ugly…

Well the shit scenery and the lack of THE FUCKING CHEESEY MUSIC!!!!!!!!! Its times like these you wish tom cruise can come diving in and save the day with the fucking top gun song….. Oh well I’ll just have to go back to humming it as I’m playing

Tom Cruise... a man with one use and it isnt preaching

IF there is one thing that really gets on my tits, I suppose that it would have to be the way that “Information Technology” is taught in school.

In my limited experience, I have come across numerous institutions that have employed non-IT teachers as IT teachers. Is this an issue? In short yes. It is. Im not going to turn around and compare this to say taking on a science teacher to teach english, but, the principle is there. To teach a subject one should specalise in that area. And only then should they be allowed to teach it.

Should IT actually be taught as it’s own subject? No. In short is shouldn’t. Computing has come so far since doing a CS degree 30 years ago, when the machines needed whole rooms and one had to book time to compile code on the beast. Modern computing, however does not require this. Most children growing up today haver access to computers, wether it be just at school, or more commonly, having at least one computer at home. And all the while being “internet savvy”, as the “always on” society continues to grow.

So, with this all this in mind it leads me to conclude that because of the way we use computers in the modern era that IT as its own subject should not exist, rather be integrated into other subjects, and used in the way that businesses use IT. I am aware that the government are starting to push for this attitude towards teaching IT, but i still feel we are a long way off from this.

As a side note, there is an instance in which IT can be its own subject. And thats to teach it to a depth that one is taught english or science. A watered-down CS course perhaps? But. There is no way that someone who qualified as an English teacher is allowed to even touch this shit.

/endRant

Welcome to * DADAH DADAH DADAH DADAH DA DA DA DADAH DAHA DADAH DADAH DAH!* Backseat Reviewers… for all your pleasurable needs….wait that sounds pedo grandad stylee…. Er…. We will get the next bit done later, but onto the pressing issue, I know there hasn’t been a review for the past X weeks (think its 2) but theres a few reasons… 1. FUCK ALL HAS COME OUT, 2. I got a new rig and couldn’t get any of the stuff done for a while, 3. Ive been lazy…& 4. Did I mention FUCK all has come out, but in the near future we are gonna have ben with halo wars, bankock dangerous and Killzone2 as well as ben we have the code monkey doing a review (yes we let him out of the cage for once) of Dawn of war II and Ive got several things up my sleeve like that large pile of games on my side. I would carry on to talk about the recuite we had training up but theres a funny story about that… We send him to find shelob and well…..he found her…BRING ON THE NEXT RECUITE…any way on with the review

The Maw, is a game on the XBLA (yay not a-fucking-nouther one ) and was realised back in the time where eagles and dolphins where the only mode of transport in the land of January 09 (ok so it wasn’t that long ago but with amount of games released un-naturally in the 1s quarter it fucking feels like it)

So your this blue squishy alien called frank (yes the creative division was playing with a ball of wool on the day that was decided) and he doesn’t know evil or war because he was mummy cuddled from birth until he was dropped arse 1^st onto a beautiful planet after a ship he was in crashed into a planet and spilled out lots of different coloured squishy things until he find one called Maw which is a hungry purple squishy thing (I think the creative division had been fired by this point) and this purple squishy thing goes around eating all the multi-coloured things and becoming a multi-coloured purple thing…

ok I don’t know that for sure because my colon exploded by boredom that I didn’t find it out that and it was a demo… the place where you play is pretty well designed for a XBLA and the little multi-coloured squishy things look like….. Well little multi-coloured squishy things and that is a good thing as the creativity section has been found in the corner with a shotgun between their mouths like the unloved drug addicts you walked past yesterday….. Yes it’s your fault he blew their brains out they needed love… And then that caused a chain reaction where all of their family’s died … just because the market is chock a block with remakes and 1FS and no brainer gore… I’m not saying there bad but there needs to be some games where it uses intelligence… and you have fun….remember those things… any how I procrastinate,

The main issue the game has is it handles like a paraplegic with a nine inch nail embedded in his non-responsive thigh..but don’t get me wrong, The game isn’t bad, but it isn’t good either, its bland, its boring, its like Mr. Grey living in Grey town, grey country with his wife Margret or Mr. Pirates Monotimus adventure…and that’s its main problem… that and its potential to piss its self when ever the nurse isn’t around ….

But now onto the Good the bad and the UGLY!!!

The Good;

The colours are bright and vibrant,

The squishy things look like squishy things

The bad;

Its BORING;

What the hell are the squishy blobs supposed to be,

Some of the names of the squishy things are ridiculous

The ugly;

Its the kind of game I can imagine 20 something single mother playing while they aren’t at work or eating pizza

So 50 years down the line we go to the shop and we have to choose between Halo 567, Gears of war 67 and street fighter 5 becuase they are the only games left being made.. remember this….I fucking called it

( I would like to thank “Yatzee” from Zero Punctuation for insperation for all of my reviews (since myspace days) and basicly the last line)

LETS open with me saying that, IMHO this is a strong contender for RTS game of 2009. [The other being StarCraft2...get your slave drivers whipping your code monkeys harder, Blizzard!] And so that sets the tone for this review.

Dawn Of War II is the latest game in the DoW series. Like the games before it, it is set in the fictional universe of Warhammer 40,000. In this instance, you, the player, follow the campaign of the Blood Ravens, [a chapter created for the DoW games] in their quest to rid this sub-sector of Orks, Eldar and Tyranids.

Unlike its predecessors, DoW II does not contain any form of base building in the main campaign. Instead the focus is on swift tactical decisions and squad improvement. The squad improvement is linked into the RPG element of the game. At first I was like “WTF, RPG in RTS?”. But my skepticism soon fell by the road side after I played the first couple levels and saw first hand how well done the implementation of the RPG element was. It shifts the players thinking from “this unit is just cannon-fodder” to “how best can I utilize the weaponry and perks of this squad.” And so each squad is just as important as the others. Because of this new way to play an RTS, the player gets to customize the units as well as select which units are going to be used for the next mission. Apart from the amour and weaponry that one gets as a reward for completing a level, there are also random drops throughout the game. This randomness also means that no two players will get the same kit on the same level.

Although one could argue there is a liner campaign, there’s not. Every choice made effects the game at a later stage. One can play this game a million times and still play differently every time. The cut-scenes are very well done and the narrative is “perfect” for the game. After every cut scene, I ended up doing my fish impression, thats how awesome I feel they were. The HUD of the “pre-mission” screen, you know the one where you select which mission and what squad is very nice. Its apparent that Relic decided to ditch so many elements from the original DoW and opt for a different feeling for this game. I think that bet paid off… big time. [Now to implement these changes into CoH? Pretty please?]

The gameplay itself is solid. [Thank you Essence Engine 2.0] In short, there have been lots of little improvements from the original DoW and Company of Heros series, like the use of cover, and units complimenting each other.

Whilst you play, actions you take give you experience, yes we all know the basics of an RPG, and this totals up into a campaign score. Further expanding on the RPG element, during battle the enemies occasionally drop loot. This is random and so its unlikely 2 players will pick up the same kit, meaning the game will be played ever so slightly differently. Like I said before, the unit uniqueness adds value to the units and one is less likely to use any unit as cannon-fodder.

DoW II is the first game for Windows that uses the “XBOX live achievements thingy”. Basically sign in with you XBOX live gamer-tag and you get the G score. This is also required for the multiplayer element.

I will not be covering the multiplayer aspects of DoW II, but barring a couple complaints, it too is solid. [In the latest patch, some of these elements have been addressed, like the addition of more multiplayer maps.]

DoW II brings something new to the world of RTS gaming. The unique game style I personally like, and it makes a change from the same old same old of, build base, get resources, build troops, build hero, annihilate enemy. So hats of to Relic for having the balls to do this and not just through out some crap and rely on people liking the original to get this incarnation of the game.

…And so, even if you are not really a fan of RTS, don’t worry, you can always use the same tactics as @Keknath… Select all units and CAHRGE! [Let the cluster-fuck begin.]

The Good

-Intuitive HUD
-Varied Missions
-Nice balance of RTS/RPG elements

The Bad

-Multiplayer aspects [Slowly being addressed by THQ]

The Ugly

-One can only play as the Blood Ravens for the campaign. [Bring on a Tyranid campaign (Y)]

-SpecialDave wishes to thank Iron Maiden for providing the backing music during the playing [of the game] and writing of this review. (B)’s all round.

Haven’t you heard you let the viking win?”

That’s What I would Say If I had to sum up Mercenaries 2: world in flames (Ea’s latest addition to the story)  in one phrase. In Merc’s 2 you play as one of 3 Mercenaries..

Mattias Nilsson, hes Swedish, Funny and it just seems so right through out the story, oh and he can take alot of damage… and I mean alot..

Christopher Jacobs, hes a yank, hes the strong guy, carry’s a lot, and does the general American thing … and hes always got a cigar

And finally Jennifer Mui, shes from Hong Kong, and shes FAST.. she also has a bundle of one liners which are funny and its mainly to do with her gender as shes the only female

And you have a unplayable tech support who helps you through out the story line and she has a pink mustang its awesome..if you break it .. you need to buy a new one..

The story is pretty straight forward from the off, in 2010 you go to Venezuela for a job from a man that goes by the name of Ramon Solano and he didn’t pay you for it…well he tried to kill you..but you escape , you get pissed off and want revenge and the money (its mainly because you didn’t get paid.. hence why playing with the Swedish guy works better) you have to work for several factions to get info on hes men and locations excreta and in the end a nuclear bunker buster….(yes BIG BOOM…its fun) the factions include Universal Petroleum (basically BP but for everyone)  The People’s Liberation Army of Venezuela (Viva Le revolution) , The allied nations who are there to stop the Chinese..and they cant get fuel for there country (The USA *cough cough*) People’s Liberation Army (of China) (haha owned used real name of country) and The Jamaican pirate. you have to try and keep these guys happy so you can do jobs and bounties for them…so you go around blowing shit up and capturing people (if you kill them by accident take a photo, half the pay half the hassle) to further your progress through out the game through contracts with them….. you build your back up squad through put the story to give you greater expansion of what you can do… the 1st person you find is a Irish Helicopter pilot, this guy is awesome..he helps you by transporting you, dropping shit off and stealing fuel, money and weapons from the factions (fuel is needed for using air strikes and dropping stuff off and other shit) then there is the drunk french jet pilot who’s motto is you don’t need to be able to stand up to fly..and hes right… he has a pretty straight shot and hits what you want him to.. and finally  there’s the female Latino mechanic who the Irish guy keeps trying to hit on …she makes AWESOME vehicles with spare parts you find around the world… Ive unlocked one… but its a bike… with guns attached and tank treads in stead of wheels so its effective off road as well… I love it

with the addition of the 2 pilots to you squad you get to use air strikes, bombs, nukes the general KABOOM objects, you can hijack every Vehicles (except planes) with a special button hijack mini game where to takes patience in getting the buttons right and normally ends in a comical hijack…. oh and everything can be destroyed….I Mean everything.. sandbox is pretty much a under-statement, the graphics are sexual and there’s some glitches but they are nothing major..its so much fun, I pretty much wasted my free time (no assignments on it) and after completing it I want more.. so currently im thinking of going back through it all to get the alternate ending where you work for the AN instead of the Chinese.. oh and to capture everyone instead of killing some .. its 3rd person and they have decided to stay with the mercs 1 controller layout which i think was i wise move,

But theres as always bad bits about this game, its glitchy and buggy and then the main issue you have is the illness called stockpile syndrome where you save missiles and heavy weapons when ur up against a nazi robot zombie from mars just in case theres a bigger nazi zombie vampire from jupitur round the corner which leaves you at the end of the game with enough rockets to send a tank to the moon or to andomeder …. or youll just blow yourself up and thats not good for anyone

So, If you want a game were you can go into a shanty town and blow it the fuck up with a tank..this is for you … but if you want a realistic shooter wait for call of duty…. but this is well worth the look in… I love it, but due to the glitches its gonna have to be 4/5 for this game… now I have to wait another 3 -4 years for mercenaries 3 (please not that long… hurry up  which is hinted (in game) to be set in India. Pandemic Studios has created a Awesome game, but its going to be largely ignored this season because of the upcoming fall rush of Fable II, GoWII, CoD “5″ and its a shame.. this will be a hidden gem