Backseat Reviewers.

Lord Of The Rings Conquest…….yeah Its OK.

OK, Its Dan here and I can’t really leave it there, This Review will be on Lord Of The Rings Conquest as you could probably tell and its the latest in line of film spin offs but with a difference.

With Lord Of The Rings being one of the best books and film series ever, it was inevitable to have a lot of games spawned from it from the crotch kicking awfulness of the Fellowship of the ring, to the genital massaging awesomeness of the battle of middle earth series, it has had games of all different quality’s.

This is from the creators from the Star Wars Battlefront series and it follows its predecessor’s style and feel to the dot, which was good in 2000 or when ever they star wars version came out, but now it is just the same old style with an even better skin on it. As always with these games you have objectives to complete within a certain amount of lives, which gets very annoying as you always die just before you finish it. But it would be OK if they altered the game play slightly, but they bloody ripped it off and battered it to death with its own arm to try and make it seem like it was a original game, which it is not.

There are 2 campaigns like always with you playing the 1st one as it happened in the books on the good side with hero charecters Aragorn, Legolas, gimli and all of the good charcters and then theres anouther one where your the evil and its set in the what if universe and this is the big I especially enjoyed as it gives a new view on what could of happened and the charecters are that of the evil witch king the evil people and more evil people.. which have lots of names I couldnt spell even if they were in front of me let alone recall them.

All this guy is fit for is death....Let alone leading a army... I supposed they are Orcs

Then theres the online mode which has a lot to be desired for, for a start its hard to find a game becuase no one plays it and when you do find a game its got 2 modes which are basicly Capture the flag and Death Match, these both get boring after the 5th time of playing them let alone the 100 you need for a rediculus achievement.. they are also laggyier than porn on a dial up connection.

But all in all the game is ok, you get to be the balrog for christ’s sake and a game where you can be that fiery juggernaut is at least competent in my eyes, but apart from that its bland, annoying and the graphics feel like a throw back to the early 2000’s with games such as MGS4 and GTA VI having graphics that are amazing even though they are grey…very grey… so grey oh and dirt colours.

The Good

Its JRR Tolkins Lord Of The Rings
You Can Be The Mother Fucking Balrog
Battle Grounds Was Fun, So Naturally So Is This….For A Bit
It Just Doesnt Cover The Colours In The Dirt Spectrum
The Heroes and Archers Are Fun For A Bit
You Get To Be Mother Fucking Frodo

The Bad

Its No Metal Gear
It Gets Boring After About A Hour… So Its Better Than Any Gimmik Stick Waggling Game The Wii Has To Offer
The Online Sucks Harder Than A Hooker Welcoming The Boys Back From The War In The Old Days
It Is Battle Grounds

The Ugly

The Graphics are butt ugly I’ve seen better graphics on a Ps2 (Metal Gear Solid 3 & Final Fantasy X To name a few…What is it with me and going on about metal gear in this review) theres the graphics and gothmog..someones put him out of his misery so we dont have to look at him PLEASE!

I'm In A Boat... yeah.... I'm in a boat.....ect ect

The Next Few Reviews are going to be of the E3 announcements that recently happened and of Guitar Hero: Metallica as I am still writing them up as theres alot of content in them (apart from the ninendo as they sucked this year)